The Trail Mix Trials
Feeding an Addiction or Feeding Your Face?

Liquor Up Front. Trail Mix in the Rear.

Well at King’s Liquor in Kearney Mesa it’s actually the other way around, but I couldn’t miss the opportunity to throw in a Big Johnson T-Shirt reference.  Please tell me that some of you got the humor … otherwise the fact that I have the same maturity level as a 13-year-old boy just became glaringly clear. 

Back  to the story.  After dining on a $5 Veggie Delight Footlong from Subway, I mosied over to the liquor store to see what sort of trail mix selection they had available. (See below … this stupid picture will not stay upright … tilt your head.)

Royal Crap or Royal Blends?

Royal Blends or Royal Crap?

It immediately becomes apparent that these guys at King’s have a thing for royalty.  First, the name of the establishment, then “King Trail Mix,” “Golden Trail Mix,” and “Champion Trail Mix.”  If I were a betting woman, I’d guess that some one involved has one of those overly lifted trucks too (i.e. – compensating for areas that are lacking – women love when opportunities arise to say stuff like this).  Eh hem … any way …

Despite the fact that I was born post-1960, I am a gold(en) girl (check out all of my nice jewelry next time you see me).  No silver here.  The trail mix option was clear.  Plus, I was intrigued by the peanut-M&M-looking things in the Golden Trail Mix.  Usually the best you get are plain. 


  • Raisins
  • Peanut Pokies (that equates to a bad-quality M&M – the only visible differences are there is no “M” imprint and the brown is a lighter shade than the real thing)
  • Apricot (read on to understand the lack of pluralization)
  • Peanuts
  • Almonds
  • Cranberries
  • Pineapple chunks
  • Cashews
In this case, go for the silver.

In this case, go for the silver.

At first blush, not bad.  The dried cranberries were a nice accompaniment to the raisins, and the pineapple chunks were a welcomed treat.  I got really excited when I came across my first BIG apricot, but shortly after realized that would be my last – it was the only one in the bag.  The first few faux-peanut M&M’s were delightful as well.  Then I kept going and things turned south. 

Have you ever kept candy from your Christmas stocking or Easter basket a few months longer than you should have?  You know how the candy coating tends to erode or turn white?  Well, apparently I was a few seasons too late for the Golden Mix, because my Peanut Pokies looked tie-died and had melted their colored shells onto the surrounding nuts in the bag. 

Maybe it was in my head, but after the first few, they didn’t taste as good as their brand-name counterpart either.  And then – the unthinkable … I threw away half the bag.  This may be a first. 

Now I hate to throw around fleeting buzz words that marketers use, but the “authenticity” of my entire experience was lacking.  A girl would think that when you go to a store named “King’s” and buy a king-sized bag of “King Henry’s Snacks Fit for a King – Golden Trail Mix” you’d be feeling like a queen after it was all said and done.  Not so much. Maybe a lowly palace guard, at best.

To the store’s credit, the owner was friendly and he did fill me in on the site Angie’s List, which has nothing to do with me, but appears to be a useful resource.  So for that, let’s not hold anything against King’s Liquor Store, but just remember (unlike the Big Johnson T-Shirt) bypass the trail mix up front, and head to the liquor in the rear. 

You win some.  You lose some.  These are The Trail Mix Trials of our lives.


5 Responses to “Liquor Up Front. Trail Mix in the Rear.”

  1. […] Original post by thetrailmixtrials […]

  2. Very impressed with all the details!!! Can’t wait to do some of my own “trials”. I will give you a full report!

  3. So sad but very true unfortunately. Trail mix just is not trail mix if it’s not fresh!

  4. […] and products seem more Nordstrom’s-like than standard liquor store (see post on King’s) and grocery store blends that we typically review here.  I even appreciated his honesty when he […]

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